The 5000m relay is on and this is incredible comedy. Five skaters from five teams in the race. They go like a lap or two and one of their constantly circling teammates shoves them along. You skate a couple of laps, join the Rockefeller Center schmaltz in the middle, then jump in again. Most bizarre. Exciting, but so is watching a squirrel try to cross a street, and that's not in the Olympics. At least not until the US becomes a credible medal threat.
This is not sport, this is slightly organized chaos.
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