My Poker Game in a Snapshot

This is exactly how it happens.

Full Tilt Poker Game #1434903001: Table White Fox (6 max) - $0.05/$0.10 - $3 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 23:24:53 ET - 2006/12/18
Seat 1: rstill ($8.85)
Seat 2: silageman ($6.50)
Seat 3: PMANWARING ($2.45)
Seat 4: TowerofPower58 ($4.55), is sitting out
Seat 5: pokergirl99 ($3.15)
Seat 6: djm182 ($5.10)
PMANWARING posts the small blind of $0.05
pokergirl99 posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to djm182 [Td Kd]
djm182 calls $0.10
rstill folds
silageman calls $0.10
PMANWARING calls $0.05
pokergirl99 checks
*** FLOP *** [Ah Kh Jc]
PMANWARING checks
pokergirl99 checks
djm182 bets $0.30 (a pot-sized bet)
silageman calls $0.30
PMANWARING folds
pokergirl99 calls $0.30
*** TURN *** [Ah Kh Jc] [Ks]
pokergirl99 checks
djm182 bets $0.60 (weak - should've $0.90, but he would've called regardless as he has top two pair here)
silageman calls $0.60
pokergirl99 calls $0.60
*** RIVER *** [Ah Kh Jc Ks] [Ad] (the suckout)
pokergirl99 checks
djm182 checks
silageman bets $0.70
pokergirl99 folds
djm182 calls $0.70
*** SHOW DOWN ***
silageman shows [Jd Ac] (a full house, Aces full of Kings)
djm182 shows [Td Kd] (a full house, Kings full of Aces)
silageman wins the pot ($4.05) with a full house, Aces full of Kings

It's not THAT I lost

It's HOW I lost.

Some background. I played two $2 SNGs the other night. In the first, I made a tremendous donk move where, in the first hand, I reraised a bet of 160 chips while holding 10-10. He pushes, I call, and I'm staring A-A in the face. Horrific mistake when you don't know your players.

Next tourney, I get off to a gangbusters start. A-A twice early on, plus flopped straights, sets, top two, etc. I have about 5k in chips when it's down to four players.

I bleed off a little of that, and note that one guy keeps pushing over and over, not getting called. Finally I get AK and he pushes again. I call him as does the guy to my left. We check it down all the way through the river. I never pair up, but all the cards are rags. Mr. Push reveals A-5 and the 5 came on the river. From there, I tried to play conservatively, but just lost everything and finally bought it when my flopped top pair (Ks) ran into flopped top two pair.

So I go over to a micro limit cash game and figure I can bleed some of it back. This one clown just keeps taking it to me, sucking out (holding his QQ like it was the nectar of the gods and hitting trips on the river vs. my Aces), and stealing my chips. Finally I'm just about crippled and I get dealt J-5 in the big blind. It's checked to the flop which comes K-T-5, two hearts. At this point, I'm making my move so I push my mere $0.50 and the same luckbox calls me with Ac-Qh.

Now I'm in trouble for sure. He's got three Js for outs, three As, and three Qs. So he's about 38% to win the hand, and you just know he's going to. But what burns my ass is HOW he won it:
*** RIVER *** [Kh Td 5h 7h] [3h]

Even when he's got tons of outs, he stoops to the cheapest possible suckout.

It's a Civil War, Dammit

...and it has been for some time.  Civil War, Sectarian Violence, Al Qaida in Iraq, call it whatever you will, it's out of control, thousands of Americans have died, and if it's not getting worse, it's surely not getting any better.

 

So what's the big deal with the fucking semantics of it all?  Alter puts it into proper perspective here, including highlighting the timing of NBC News' decision to go forward with the 'Civil War' term. 

 

Just imagine the uproar if they made this decision two weeks before the election.

Blaze of Glory

If you've got to go down, go down in a blaze of glory. That's what happened in this hand. After getting my KK run over by AA for most of my stack, I limped along for a bit 'til this hand - in middle position I get AK suited. Since it's all-in or fold with my small stack (about 250 chips), I push. I get one caller and look what he lands:

Luckbox

Imagine making the call this clown makes and then seeing the turn card.

Full Tilt Poker Game #1310723081: $1 + $0.25 Sit & Go (9176972), Table 1 - 50/100 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:23:07 ET - 2006/11/26

Seat 1: OutlawJoseWales (2,600)
Seat 2: BILL531 (2,060)
Seat 3: djm182 (2,485) **that's me, and I'm on the button**
Seat 4: BiggerStack00 (750)
Seat 5: spott777 (5,825)
Seat 6: abnrgr__38 (4,470)
Seat 7: Hu_Li_Gan (3,560)
Seat 8: CopperChief (375)
Seat 9: topsrus777 (700)
BiggerStack00 posts the small blind of 50
spott777 posts the big blind of 100
The button is in seat #3

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to djm182 [As Ah] **Beautiful. Not just getting AA, but getting it on the button, where you can raise or call a big bet and people think you're playing position **
abnrgr__38 folds
Hu_Li_Gan raises to 400 **4x big blind**
CopperChief folds
topsrus777 calls 400
OutlawJoseWales folds
BILL531 folds
djm182 calls 400 **With two callers in front of me, I'm going to slow play this and just call it**
BiggerStack00 folds
spott777 folds

*** FLOP *** [5s Tc Qs]
Hu_Li_Gan bets 900
topsrus777 calls 300, and is all in
djm182 raises to 1,800 **I suppose he might have had Q-10 here, maybe he has AK of spades, but I'm gonna pop it and hopefully make him pay. Note that this leaves me with only 285 chips, so if he reraises it, I can assume he's got a good hand **
Hu_Li_Gan has 15 seconds left to act
Hu_Li_Gan calls 900 **A call...I've got him**

*** TURN *** [5s Tc Qs] [Jd] **Hmmm...I don't particularly like this card as it opens up a straight draw possibility, but I still think I've got him beat**
Hu_Li_Gan bets 500
djm182 calls 285, and is all in

Hu_Li_Gan shows [Jh Jc] **So the donk calls my post-flop raise - as I'd hoped he would - and strikes gold on the turn. That's it for me here.**
topsrus777 shows [Ad 9s]
djm182 shows [As Ah]
Uncalled bet of 215 returned to Hu_Li_Gan

*** RIVER *** [5s Tc Qs Jd] [2h]
Hu_Li_Gan shows three of a kind, Jacks
djm182 shows a pair of Aces
Hu_Li_Gan wins the side pot (3,570) with three of a kind, Jacks
topsrus777 shows Ace Queen high
Hu_Li_Gan wins the main pot (2,250) with three of a kind, Jacks
topsrus777 stands up
djm182 stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5,820 Main pot 2,250. Side pot 3,570. | Rake 0
Board: [5s Tc Qs Jd 2h]
Seat 1: OutlawJoseWales didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: BILL531 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: djm182 (button) showed [As Ah] and lost with a pair of Aces
Seat 4: BiggerStack00 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: spott777 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: abnrgr__38 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: Hu_Li_Gan showed [Jh Jc] and won (5,820) with three of a kind, Jacks
Seat 8: CopperChief didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: topsrus777 showed [Ad 9s] and lost with Ace Queen high

Wie blows up again

I think it's time for BJ to pull in the reins and bring his pride and joy back in to the stable for some fine tuning of her rapidly deteriorating game.

First Hand Brutality

After a turkey day full of chaos, I decide to sit down at night and relax with a nice game of FullTilt Poker. I settle in on my usual $1 NLHE sit & go, and lo and behold, I get dealt QQ in one shy of the cutoff position on the very first hand. It's raised up to $105 to go, so I make the call to see the flop.

It comes at me Q-4-J rainbow. I'm in the lead for certain. And what's this - I get three all-ins ahead of me. Well it's my lucky day! I insta-call and take the lead going to the turn.

But I'm in trouble. Not so much by the guy holding 4-4, he's got one out. Not even so much by the guy holding A-A, even though he has three outs relative to me, he's only got runner As to beat the guy holding 10-K.

And doesn't the turn bring the A, filling out this guy's straight. Yep, the guy who went all-in on just a draw wins the hand. Details here:

Home Game Stories

Always entertaining, even when you donk out halfway through.

 

* Our resident fish was back, min-raising everything in sight.  Early on, I get dealt 3-3, call a small raise and get to the flop.  It comes out 3-8-x and I fire at it.  About a half of the pot.  Our friend calls.  Turn is another low card.  I bet, he calls again.  River is a second eight.  Uh oh.  Could he have A-8?  Yeah, sure he could.  Of course, he'd play just about anything else too, so I bet out and he calls again. 

 

He turns over 10-10 for two pair.  Big pot and I'm on my way.

 

* For the next hour or so, I'm playing my typical tight-aggressive style.  I take one pot down with AK suited when a bullet comes on the flop.  I popped it to 3x the blinds (200 up to 600) pre-flop so I get some payback on that.  But otherwise, the cards are cold and the table is still seven-handed, so I'm still sitting tight.  Plus the blinds are going to go up big time in a level or two and I don't want to donk things off before then.

 

* Then I finally get a decent set of hole cards.  JJ, albeit in early position.  I bet 3x the blinds to see where I'm at.  I get a couple of callers.  The flop comes out with cards all weaker than J, and no great straight or flush possibilities.  Again, I bet.  The player to my left, an infrequent player in the home game but a decent player nonetheless raises it to 2x my bet.  I think about it and call.  I'm trying to get a read on him, but he's just stoic.  Sitting upright in the chair - but he always does that, so I can't really lean on Navarro's signature tell.  He's not tilting his head, he's not moving his hands out toward the table.  Legs are still.  My guess is that he's got a good-but-not-great hand (top pair with an A kicker) and that I can either take this down or edge him on a showdown...provided the cards fall the right way. 

 

So I set out to check-raise him on the turn, provided the card is a dud.  It is.  I check.  He bets, and I go all-in, which would force him all-in.  He instacalls with A-A.  Ouch.

 

* Now I'm clearly short-stacked and am in the easiest position to play poker - it's either all-in or fold.  And don't I get a run of 2-7, 3-8, 4-9 kind of hands for about six straight hands.  The blinds are attacking me, and soon enough, I'm dead.  I did triple up somewhere in there when I went all-in blind and my 9-7 hit the flop, but I gave it back soon after when K8 suited went up against QQ and 99 and lost to a set of 9s. 

 

* I did get a couple of reads out of the game though.  One player leans forward, almost over the table, and his legs just bounce around like mad when he has cards.  When I was short-stacked, I got 7-7 and just called it.  He raised and would've forced me all-in, but I looked over and he was bouncing around like a jumping bean.  I thought, laid it down and said "high pair, huh"?  I prodded a little further and it was, in fact, KK. 

 

* Another (very good) player puts his hand on his neck when he's got something marginal.  I didn't get to act upon it, but now I know that it's there. 

Bush Was Right!

Sometimes the comedy just writes itself. 

Boogity Boogity Boogity!!

Don't wreck Junior - you'll fire up the rednecks and they'll go off, no matter who is in the room.  This is simply stellar.

Is this the end for JoePa?

One doc seems to think so. 

 

It's a shame if it ends up this way and he doesn't get to go out on his terms - especially with the returning class for next year and the favorable schedule. 

FullTilt strikes back

So I win a 45-seat NLHE Sit & Go on Sunday night.  Just a $1 buy-in event so I'm not exactly quitting my day job after this, but it's still nice to take one of those down.  I was the short stack as the final table started, made some good moves, got some good cards, and always found myself in with the best hand - and they held up.

 

Afterward, I'm feeling pretty good about myself.  I'm learning more and more how to play the game - specifically how to play these online events.  But the thing is that just when your confidence is the highest, something happens to make you realize that you're really just a pawn in the game. 

 

Last night, in a bit of a time pinch, I sit down at a one-table, turbo NLHE event.  Again, just $1 at stake.  And what a difference a night makes. 

• I like to try to limp in with low-to-medium pocket pairs early on in these events.  Every time I called the blind, someone after me would pop it and I'd have to get away from the hand.  Every time it was the right move, but these added up. 
• Every time I called for a half-price flop out of the small blind, the big blind would pop it. 
• I paid to see a couple of other flops which turned out disastrous.

I got away from all of these, but they cost me.  So at Level V (50/100), I'm down to about 900 chips and haven't taken anything down yet.  The good news - I've once again established a tight reputation.  The bad news - I've only got 9 big bets left.  Something needs to happen, and happen soon.

And it does.  In the big blind, I get J-J.  I figure it's time to push.  Well someone in middle position pushes all-in and that has me covered.  The player to his left goes all-in as well.  I figure it's do or die on this hand, so I join the fracas as well.

 

First raiser: 88

Second raiser: AQo

Me: JJ

 

I'm just slightly worse than 50/50 to take this pot down.  Until this happens:

Flop:  Q-J-x

 

BAM!  I'm now 95% likely to win the hand and *triple-up* to about 2400 chips.  Right back in the mix.  The initial raiser needs runner 8s to survive.  The second raiser needs a Q, two As, A-Q, or runner straight cards (K-10).

 

Turn: A (NFW...eh, still 90% to win it)

 

River: Q

 

So the first caller gets a boat - Qs full of As, which trumps my Js full of Qs.  And I ride off into the sunset, once again a victim of the magic that is FullTilt Poker.

Blinded

I've come across no better example of the distance to which the ruling right got out of touch with reality than this: Karl Rove's belief - into election night - that the GOP would hold onto the House, let alone the Senate. 

 

A pretty comical read, I must confess.  :)

Put a Sock in it

I love this.  The people who need to shut the fuck up after the 2006 midterms.  Beautifully captured. 

The Election HELPS Shrub?

Maybe.  That's what Newsweeks's Jonathan Alter says.  The only missing piece I can see is 43's seemingly endless stubbornness.  Is he willing to back down from his bully pulpit to accept dissenting views?  Will he shun Rove and Cheney and listen to more moderate GOPers - or even listen to some from the other side of the aisle? 

 

If I'm Rove or Mehlman, I do everything I can to give this presidency as soft a landing as possible.  Right now, that's they're best hope to avoid another big surge to the left in 2008.

Colbert Mourns

Seems that Stephen is a bit shaken up about the GOP losses on Tuesday  He's at a loss for words during 'The Word'  Rip-roarin' hilarious.

Colbert Mourns

Seems that Stephen is a bit shaken up about the GOP losses on Tuesday  He's at a loss for words during 'The Word'  Rip-roarin' hilarious.

Rush Fesses Up

On Wednesday's confessional, El RushBo stepped behind the mic and said that he's been making it all up the last four or so years.  Really.  He does.  He casts stones at the far right that's been running the country - the same far right he routinely supports and endorses five days a week.  Well now that they've lost the election, he's kicking them to the curb.  It's back to true conservatism - whatever that is.  Liberals be damned.  Far right be damned.

 

Wanna know the best part?  The sheep that blindly follow this fat pill popping idiot have already bought into this nonsense.

 

Deep down, you KNOW that Rush is happy about the shift in Washington.  He's said as much before - remember Rush came into prominence when Clinton was in office.  Now he's got at least two years of a Democratic congress that he can take shots at.  The GOP lost the election, but I'm quite sure Rush is pleased.  It extends his miserable existence and self-created relevance a few more years.

Greatness isn't Permanent

One more shot from Maher on how America isn't as great as some people with blind faith in old glory would like you to believe that it is. 

 

The quote is Maher's.  The bold text is mine - this has nothing to do with hating America, all you simple-minded, right-wing neo-con freaks. 

 

And finally, New Rule: America must stop bragging that it's the greatest country on earth and start acting like it. Now, I know — I know this is uncomfortable for the faith-over-facts crowd, but the greatness of a country can, to a large degree, be measured. Here are some numbers: Infant mortality rate, America ranks 48th in the world; overall health, 72nd; freedom of the press, 44; literacy, 55th. Do you realize there are 12-year-old kids in this country who can't spell the name of the teacher they're having sex with?

Now, America, I will admit, has done many great things: making the New World democratic comes to mind, the Marshall Plan, curing polio, beating Hitler, the deep-fried Twinkie. But what have we done for us lately? We're not the freest country. That would be Holland, where you can smoke hash in church, and Janet Jackson's nipple is on their flag.

And, sadly, we're no longer a country that can get things done, either. Not big things, like building a tunnel under Boston or running a war with competence. We had six years to fix the voting machines. Couldn't get that done. The FBI is just now getting email!

Prop 87 out here in California is about lessening our dependence on oil by using alternative fuels, and Bill Clinton comes on at the end of the ad and says, "If Brazil can do it, America can, too." Excuse me, since when did America have to buck itself up by saying we could catch up to Brazil?! We invented the airplane and the lightbulb. They invented the bikini wax, and now they're ahead?!

In most of the industrialized world, nearly everyone has health care. And hardly anyone doubts evolution. And, yes, having to live amid so many superstitious dimwits is also something that affects quality of life. It's why America isn't going to be the country that gets the inevitable patents in stem cell cures, because Jesus thinks it's too close to cloning!

Oh, and did I mention we owe China a trillion dollars? We owe everybody money. America is a debtor nation to Mexico! We're not on a bridge to the 21st century. We're on a bus to Atlantic City with a roll of quarters.

WHITMAN: Take those — bring those quarters to Atlantic City, yes.

MAHER: And this is why it bugs me that so many people talk like it's 1955 and we're still number one in everything. We're not. And I take no glee in saying this, because I love my country , and I wish we were. But when you're number 55 in this category and number 92 in that one, you look a little silly waving the big foam "Number One" finger.

As long as we believe being the greatest country in the world is a birthright, we'll keep coasting on the achievements of earlier generations and we'll keep losing the moral high ground. Because we may not be the biggest or the healthiest or the best educated. But we always did have one thing no other place did. We knew soccer was bulls***.

And...and we also had a little thing called the Bill of Rights. A great nation doesn't torture people or make them disappear without a trial. Bush keeps saying the terrorists hate us for our freedom. And he's working damn hard to see that pretty soon that won't be a problem.
 

Sweeney Donates to a Pal

Birds of a feather flock together. 

 

The latest Siena poll shows that Gillibrand just might pull this off.  BTW, Gaia, or Gayle, or whatever the hell your name is, STOP CALLING ME!!!

Voter Suppression

An old GOP standby, at least until Election Day when they quickly move on to Voter Disenfranchisement. 

 

This is an innovative (ha!) and clever (ha ha!)...well ok, low ball conniving below-the-belt trick from our friends on the right.  Supposed crank phone calls from the democratic candidates. 

Vent

Allow me to vent.

 

I'm sitting at a $0.05/$0.10 NL cash game.  Bets are capped...so no matter how much $$ you have, you can't bet more than $3 at any hand.  I bring $5 to the table. 

 

Guy to my left seems to be playing quite loose.  Saw him lose a hand with cards he never should've played with.  I took a smaller pot from him when he continued to bet with nothing.  It's the guy you'd rather have on your right than on your left, but I think there's some profit to be made here.

 

A few hands in, I get 35o in the big blind and check.  Flop comes 2-3-5.  Hot damn.  I bet the pot, he calls (??), and we go to the turn.  Turn is a 7.  I bet the pot AGAIN and he calls. 

 

What do you put this guy on?  Me - I've put him on A-x.  Take two guesses to what the river is.  He bets out and I fold to save my money.  I'm 80% positive he had the A...maybe A-6 or K-6.  There was no way to get him off the hand. 

 

In the next few minutes, he's throwing back cash from playing too loosely.  Eventually, I get AQo.  Flop is Q-x-x, but two hearts.  I bet something like 1/2 pot.  Calls me.  Turn is a blank.  I bet the pot, he calls again.  River is a K.  I bet, he raises, we cap the bet, and he turns over K-x of hearts. 

 

In BOTH CASES, I get my money in with the best hand, make bets/raises which stack the pot odds against him...and he continues to draw and ends up sucking out on me both times. 

 

This drives me completely batshit crazy. 

Olbermann Tees Off Again

and stripes one long and down the middle. 

 

NOW, can we PLEASE put the Kerry gaffe to rest and focus on the ineptitude of the past six years?

Maher on Think Tanks

Just a fabulous "New Rule" from the 20 October episode. 

 

Details below.  The full transcript of all that episode's New Rules is here.

 

And finally, New Rule, in two parts: A) You can't call yourself a think tank if all your ideas are stupid. And B), if you're someone from one of the think tanks that dreamed up the Iraq War, and who predicted that we'd be greeted as liberators, and that we wouldn't need a lot of troops, and that Iraqi oil would pay for the war, that the WMD's would be found, that the looting wasn't problematic, and the mission was accomplished, that the insurgency was in its last throes, that things would get better after the people voted, after the government was formed, after we got Saddam, after we got his kids, after we got Zarqawi, and that the whole bloody mess wouldn't turn into a civil war...you have to stop making predictions!

You know, there's a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time: husbands. You know, it's a shame what happened to think tanks. They used to produce valuable, apolitical analysis. But partisanship crept into many of them. And the Bush Administration doesn't just come up with something as stupid as "If we leave now, they'll follow us home." No, they have someone from a think tank say it first. It's a way to lend respectability. The same reason a titty bar has food. I hear.

The think tanks that incubated the Iraq war have lofty names like the Heritage Foundation and the Project for a New American Century. Whatever. They've been wrong so often, I'm surprised they're not my broker. Richard Perle thought we could win Iraq with 40,000 troops. Paul Wolfowitz predicted, in 2003, that within a year, the grateful people of Baghdad would name some grand square in their fine city after President Bush. And he was right when he said they'd be waving American flags. They were on fire.

William Kristol pooh-poohed the fears that Sunnis and Shiites would be at each others' throats, as "the stuff of pop psychology." Right. And having your head chopped off is just a quick way to drop 11 pounds. Kristol, of course, is revered by much of the right because he was Dan Quayle's chief of staff, and was known as "Quayle's Brain." You know that. Which sounded impressive until I remembered Dan Quayle didn't have a brain.

And now, Mr. Kristol proposes immediate military action against Iran, predicting the Iranians will thank us for it. Hey, you know what, Nostrodamus? Why don't you sit this one out?

We'll get by using the Magic Eight Ball for a while. Because you guys have been so wrong about so much for so long, people are actually turning to the Democrats. So, we can say Iraq was a noble experiment, if that helps you. Our intention was good: to penetrate Iraq and bring it to a glorious, euphoric climax. But it's clear now that's just not going to happen. And yet we're still pounding away.

Causing the whole area to become painfully inflamed. And in that situation, the kindest thing you can do is...just pull out.

The Problem with Low Buy-in Poker Tourneys

I have about $50 in an online poker account.  That's plenty.  The 'rush' I get over chipping in a dollar and battling it out in a nine-way sit & go is plenty for me.  That said, there are problems with this method.  None more so than this: playing in the little pool with the little fish makes you susceptible to getting beat by people who don't know what they're doing. 

 

Case in point.  Actually, two from last night.

1) It's five-handed and I'm on the button.  It's around the 15th hand of the event, and I have about half of my original chip stack.  The blinds are getting pricey, I haven't caught cards all through this event, and I need to get some chips.

 

I look down at K9o, not the worst hand you can get on the button, but not an all-star either.  Nobody really charges pre-flop, so I make it 2x to go.  I get a couple of callers and we move on.  The flop is mostly blanks.  8-7-3 or something like that.  Someone in early position bets the minimum.  Action folds around to me.  Now at this point, I've played only one hand.  I have nothing here, but I'm pretty sure that the raiser has nothing either.  So I'm going to make a move.  I've already raised, and I'm going to raise again.  Big time.  I push all-in.  The seed I'm trying to plant is that I've got a middling pair (9s 10s or Js), which would make an opponent believe I've got the best hand on the board after the weak flop. 

 

So it's her turn.  Tick tick tick.  The FullTilt 15 second bar has just about wound down.  I'm sure she's going to lay her cards down.  And she calls.  She turns over A8.  Then the turn comes with an A and I'm clicking FullTilt's stupid little "You just finished in 5th place" pop-up.

 

If someone ... ANYONE ... can explain to me how you call that bet in that situation, please explain.  My only thought process is that she paired up one of her hole cards and had a fantastic kicker.  She couldn't have possibly considered what I might have had in the pocket or my tight table image.  She's a fish, playing only her cards and not the situation, and I'm burnt by her inexperience and stupidity. 

 

2) Later on in the evening, I'm in a similar situation.  Around a dozen hands into a sit & go and my chip stack has bled off around 1/3 of its original value.  Again, I'm on the button, and I look down at 4d 5h.  Blah.  But nobody raises the blinds, I call, and I get to see a flop. 

 

And what a flop it is...2-3-6, but with two diamonds.  I'm pretty sure this flop doesn't help a lot of people - except me - but I am concerned about the flush draw.  I'm not willing to go all-in here with the flush draw on the board, but I will make a big bet.  I bet 3x the pot, or 600 chips, and I get a caller. 

 

The turn is a low diamond.  Uh oh.  I make the same bet - 600 chips into a 1400 chip pot, or about half the pot.  Another sizeable bet, and I get the same caller. 

 

The river is another diamond.  He checks over to me and I just check it, having only a couple hundred chips left at this point anyway.  I figure the guy has stuck around and made his flush.  Well he has.   He turns over 55 - one of which is a diamond.  His flush with his 5d beats mine with my pocket 4d. 

 

But look at how this guy played the hand.  After the flop, he had a gutshot straight draw and needed two cards to the flush.  He had pocket 5s and called a bet for 3x the pot.  After the turn, he had the gutshot plus a flush draw, and now had two overcards on the board.  He stuck around after my bet of about half the pot. 

 

What could I have done to chase this guy away from the hand?  He was either completely married to his low pocket pair, or married to chasing the straight and eventually the flush draws. 

 

A couple hands later, four-handed, I raise with AdTd and someone goes all-in after me.  I call.  He has KK and I'm done.  What a night.  At the end of the night, the only thing that got me to sleep was the comfort that I played the hands well.  Not perfectly, I'm sure, but well enough to not have lost them in this manner.  I guess I just have to accept that I'm going to lose some races to opponents with weaker engines who just happen to work their ways around the train wrecks that Hold 'em can leave on the track. 

El RushBo Imitates Fox

Has to be seen to be believed.  Not only did Rush claim that Fox was 'acting' in his ad for a Democratic Senate candidate from Missouri, he actually imitated Fox's body movements while in the studio. 

 

In the video, Fox's classy response to the classless comments by Fat Ass are well worth viewing. 

Home Game Stories

Six-handed the other night, and arguably about the six best players in
our group were there. At the very least there were no fish.

I have this super-tight image, so this first situation is classic.
I'm in the big blind and I get A-A. Blinds are something like 100/200
- everyone had 2500 in starting chips plus a 2500 rebuy so there are
30,000 chips in play at this time (nobody has busted). It folds all
around to the small blind, who ALSO folds. I get A-A and NOBODY calls
the blind. Unreal.

The next time in the big blind, I get AsJs and the SAME Thing happens.
I turned both of these over and the room roared. Whatcha gonna do?

Highlight of the night...in the small blind, I get 39o. Call the big
blind, he pops it to 2x and I stick around. Flop comes with three
rags. Turn is a 9. River is another rag. He bets every time and I
call every time. At the end, someone says to me "How could you just
call that?" and I respond "Because I believe I have the best hand." I
have the pair of 9s. He has a couple of over cards, A-high or
something like that. I read it *perfectly*. Didn't play it
perfectly, though. I should've popped it on the turn instead of
giving him another chance to catch. Still, your reads can win you
pots that your cards alone won't touch. Very rewarding to start
taking these kinds of pots.

Highlight of the night not involving me...our home game
player-of-the-year leader goes all-in early on and gets called by the
player to his left. Roughly 2500 chips at stake for each player,
though the re-buy was still out there. This was no more than six
hands into the evening. POY leader has 9-9 and is called by 7-7.
Holy crap! Those are complete throw-away hands until the blinds get
into the hundreds, aren't they?

Missed opportunity of the night... I got 3c6c in early position and
something was telling me to play it. But you can't play that hand,
right? Well I laid it down. I would've had a set of 3s on the flop
and quads on the river. Could've done some damage with that. It's
still the right play to lay it down, though.

The end came suddenly. Blinds were 800/1600 and about to go up on the
very next hand. I get A-10o on the button, three-handed (so I'm first
to act too). I go all-in (1600 call + 4700 chips) and big stack to my
right calls with Jh5h. Flop 5-5-6 and that was that. Tourney ended
on the very next hand. Again, whatcha gonna do? With nobody busting
out early, and the blinds doubling to extreme amounts later on, this
quickly morphed into bingo by the 7th level.

Still, third place in this field is pretty good. Felt like I played
well, made some good reads, and turned up the heat when the time was
right.

Rush on Fox

Once again, Rush sets the bar incredibly low, yet manages to crawl beneath it. 

Willie Post-Mortem Comments

Willie speaks to the media on Monday, possibly after spending the weekend hooked up to the business end of a few bottles of booze.  I'm not sure he's thinking any more clearly.  Certainly it's hard to figure out what he's saying:

 

Courtesy of mets.com:

"Sometimes you get caught up in the moment. I wasn't thinking home run there. I was just thinking that he'd hit the ball in the gap somewhere and [Endy Chavez] could score from first [to tie the score]."

But why had Randolph used Floyd rather than have another player bunt?

"We had bases loaded for Carlos Beltran. Same scenario, right?" he said. "Just make believe I bunted. It would have been the same thing, right?

Uh, not the same scenario, Willie.  Beltran was up with two outs.  The pinch-hitter (Floyd) came up with none out.  Clearly you understand the difference, right?

"I don't second-guess all that stuff, man. If you subscribe to that, then we would have had the same situation. If you believe we would have bunted and Jose Reyes would have hit that ball to center field. If you look at it that way and that's the way most people look at it. It would have been two outs, [Paul] Lo Duca would have walked. Same scenario is set up.

 

OK, so they pitch exactly the same way to Floyd or some pinch-hitter with runners on 2nd/3rd and one out as they would with 1st/2nd and none out?  Exactly the same - even though the double play is now off the table? 

"That's the way I look at it because no one knows. I don't believe in that situation in giving up an out. One run down? A tie game? Yeah, I probably do [bunt] then. But not with two runs down and you've got momentum going. I didn't send Cliff to hit a three-run homer.

 

Well Cliff sure thought he was trying to hit a three-run homer. 

I was hoping he'd drive the ball into the gap. He's an excellent doubles hitter, one of the few guys on my team who doesn't hit into double plays. He's a fly ball guy. I'm not thinking he's going to hit a grandiose home run. He's going to drive the ball. We're going to keep the momentum going. We're going to score a couple of runs.

"You can look back -- and I don't -- and think about what you could have done, should have done. But the bottom line is that thing played out the way we wanted it to. And maybe even better because we had our best hitter, a Cardinal killer, at the plate; with one hit we're going to the World Series.

"Wouldn't change a thing. Second-guess whether I would have bunted or not. Who knows?

 

I KNOW...I KNOW!!!

I might have put Anderson Hernandez up there and in front of 50,000 people, the 20-year-old kid could have [not gotten it done]. He might have popped that ball off ... or tried to bunt against a guy with a hellacious curveball and a 95 mph fastball and gotten to a point where he had to swing with two strikes on him and he hit into a double play or whatever. ... Say Glavine gets a bunt down. There's no guarantee. It's not always easy to lay a bunt down, especially when all the money's on the table like that. ... I thought about it. I thought about it way before it came up. But I still felt like with two runs to come across I needed to keep our momentum going.

 

Instead Cliffy strikes out and the momentum gets eaten up pretty quickly, wouldn't ya say?

"It would have been [an] easy call for [a] bunt. Outside of that, I didn't want to give up an out in that situation. In hindsight, it turned out even better, perfectly, for us. Best hitter. This guy killed the Cardinals all series. He threw a nasty curveball and Beltran got locked up. I'd like him to have taken a swing there.

Beltran...Bus.......Bus...Beltran.

But the guy has a great curveball. He made a great pitch. I know that's part of it, people want to second guess that. But I feel real good about the decisions I made."

Me too...especially after watching the Tigers hack their way through Game 1. 

Mets Post-Mortem

These are the good things to come out of last night:

 

1) I can once again get to bed regularly before midnight.

2) I can now focus on the cards and not the TV at my Saturday night poker game.

3) Billy Wagner didn't blow it, so I can feel somewhat assured we'll have a semi-reliable closer in 2007. 

4) Perez is a legitimate rotation candidate in '07.  Glavine, Maine, Perez, maybe Pelfrey or Humber, Pedro at mid-season.   Put it this way, I won't be crushed if we don't get Zito. 

 

That's it.  That's the complete list. 

 

Now...Willie. 

 

I have absolutely no problem with Heilman starting the ninth, pitching after Rolen got on, or anything with what Heilman or Willie did in the Top of the 9th.  It's freaking Yadier Molina.  If they wanted to bring in me to pitch to him, that's ok.   Yadier freaking Molina is not a homerun threat, particularly on a damp October night at Shea.  Groove him a freaking fastball and he flies out routinely about 75% of the time, plus he's a stellar DP candidate.  In no way should the result reflect poorly on Heilman or in no way should the decision to keep Heilman in the game in the 9th reflect poorly on Willie.  After all, the game had all the earmarks of going extra innings, so if you can milk Heilman for more than one, you're ahead. 

 

Then it's the bottom of the 9th.  Willie made two major MAJOR mistakes.  First, you don't bring in A-Hern to pinch run for LoDuca, you bring him in to pinch run for Valentin.  Get your fastest guys on base right away.  Second, you have to bunt with 1st/2nd and none out.  Or better yet, with A-Hern and Chavez on base, square someone around to bunt, get the 1B charging, the 3B charging, the SS on the wheel and STEAL the bases.  Make Molina grab a slick ball and try to throw out someone at 3rd with that little shit Eckstein running over to cover the base.  If the steal works, and it will most of the time, you can pinch hit again for the would-be bunter and put Floyd in and you've removed the DP threat that looms over his head.  Now a flyball of routine depth scores a run, possibly gets Chavez to third, and you can try to salvage the game. 

 

The called third strikes on Floyd and Beltran are due to Wainwright's nasty stuff.  He's got about 20MPH between his fast stuff and off-speed stuff.  That's lethal.

 

It's heartbreaking to pour your time and thoughts into a team from March through mid-October.  170+ games, plus the time spent watching highlights, recap shows, reading columns, blogs and magazine articles, only to have it yanked out from under you in the last inning of what proved to be the last game.  It's completely different than watching a football team over the course of the season.  In the last week and a half, I've lived and died through seven games - practically half of a football season - and all after following a team from winter through spring, summer, and into fall.  Heartbreaking.  Gut wrenching.  Sad.  It's not easy to handle it today. 

Why I Hate the Cardinals

Just a partial list.  I'm sure I'm leaving some things out:

• That little rodent playing SS
• Ozzie Smith
• Willie McGee.  FUgly to this day.
• Whitey Herzog
• Tony LaRussa, his overmanaging, the suicide squeeze, and all his crap
• The pitching coach's kid who manages to hit a HR
• Spiezio's stupid red goatee/soul patch
• Tommy Herr and his curly mullet
• Darrell Porter
• The 25,000 idiot fans who sport a cardboard one at the games
• The other 15,000 idiot fans who sit on their asses until something good happens. 
• All 40,000 of them who wear red, willingly drink Budweiser, and worship the rodent SS.
• John Tudor
• Busch Stadium.  The new one seems nice.  Awful quiet though.  But the old one was just such a disaster.
• These too-dumb-to-know-any-better juveniles coming out of the bullpen
• Braden Looper
• Vince Coleman.  Damn the Mets for ever thinking that would work.
• The fat 2B with the dreadlocks.  Still faster than Shawn Green, though.

Here's a list of the things that I like.

• Pooholes.  Forget about the Glavine comments, this guy is a machine.  You can't not like him. 

Maine needs to contribute 4-5 solid innings.  3 runs or less.  Carpenter needs to be smacked around early and often.  The bullpen needs to shore up a win and help move on to Game 7.

 

Stop the Presses

I actually agree with George Will.

The Latest Panacea

Ford has done it again.  They've come right out and found the solution for all their problems.  Well, at least one of them - dwindling market share.  'What's the solution' you ask?  It's the Edge. 

 

As usual, I wish 'em all the luck in the world with this one, but I tend to believe that this one just won't quite hit the market sweet spot they're envisioning, sales will lag, and this thing will be discounted like mad come April or May. 

 

Think about it - what are the last Ford products to 'hit'?  The newest Mustang.  The Escape.  Then you go back to the Explorer and Taurus.  That's it.  That's the list.  And it's not a very long one. 

 

On the flip side, I did get my first on-road look at the Honda Fit this morning.  That thing is a real head scratcher.  Looks like a slightly oversized Yugo.  Small wheels, not that dissimilar in body style to the Toyota Matrix.  Didn't impress me much. 

Priorities

So, just to recap, the U.S. Government has been (a) unable to win/finish off/maintain the peace in Iraq; (b) unable to properly secure Americas borders from illegals, potential terrorist threats; (c) unable to do anything to squash the potential North Korean/Iranian threats to world peace; and (d) unable to police itself from sexual predators of underage boys roaming the halls of congress for over ten years. 

 

Yet, the U.S. Government has been able to accomplish some things.  Foremost, you soon won't be able to play poker online.  Phew.  Glad we got that scourge out of our society.  Thanks to Rep. Frist (R-TN) who shoehorned that little piece of (bullshit) legislation onto a port security bill.  Great maneuvering there, Billy Boy.  And thanks for taking away one of the few simple harmless pleasures out of my life. 

 

We've done a great job of protecting ourselves from ourselves and the victimless crimes we commit.  We've done a horrible job protecting ourselves from the evil doers the right repeatedly harps about.  And we've let a known predator continue to operate in the congress, all the while turning a blind eye to his actions. 

Neyer on Pujols

Rob needed some more caffeine this morning.  This is the most ludicrous thing I've ever read from the usually sane and sober sabermetrician.

 

Mike (St. Louis): Travis Hafner is the best hitter in baseball every season???? I think Albert Pujols might disagree with you.

 Rob Neyer: If Pujols played in a real league he'd be lucky to bat .260 with 20 home runs.

It's Not Enough to Win?

LeBron was being interviewed on SportsCenter this morning.  He told the interviewer that it wouldn't be sufficient for the US National team to win games on this tour and subsequent tournament.  Rather, they need to "blow them out".

 

Am I the only person who has a problem with this?  You won't hear Tiger saying this leading up to Medinah this week.  Nobody will talk about blowing out their preseason or Week 1 opponents in the NFL.  Tom Lehman and Woosie aren't talking this way.  But Bron Bron says we have to blow them out.  Who freaking cares?  Don't we need to win some international games of significance before we start worrying about running up the score? 

 

Of course, ESPN not only lets them get away with this line of reasoning, they highlight it in the Sunday SportsCenter package.  Their heads are SO far up Stern's ass that they can taste what the Commish had for lunch today.

Segway v2.0

Oh joy, Bushwhacker's favorite tool is coming out with a new and improved, easier to steer version.  This will surely satisfy their customer base of six satisfied users. 

 

And, they're gonna use these on GOLF COURSES?  I've seen easy-to-drive golf CARTS plunge into ponds and streams.  Imagine where some hack with a six-pack in him can take these things? 

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again...the Segway is a very cool tool with essentially zero practical usability.

Response

Seriously, all the investors should say, "what is the best return on my money?"  including the Ford's.  It is just business.  Don't let your personal feelings get in the way of making a good business decision.  Just decide what is the best use of the assets and move on.  The auto business has changed very quickly (on the surface).  It has been changing for years, but China has blown up.  Manufacturing goods is going to go to the cheapest and best place - which will eventually be Africa btw.  China will eventually get too expensive and they will look elsewhere...

 

Look, the world did not implode after 100,000 UAW workers lost their jobs.  The silly question, "well, who is going to buy the cars if there are no manufacturing jobs here?" is flat out the dumbest question this decade.  It is like asking, "who is going to buy broccoli if it is not grown here by the farm hands and farmers here in the US."  STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The world is flat.  Jobs are not what they used to be.  People have to be smarter.  Manufacturing is just one segment of the economy.  Take Switzerland.  Not much manufacturing there, but they have some of the highest standard of living in the world.  Go figure...

 

Let the best producer of goods or services produce it.  It will be cheaper for everyone which means...........more money to be spent on other parts of the economy.  More savings.  More diversity.  More entertainment.  More charity. 

 

Adam Smith rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Kevin Bushbaker

Omega Vista, LLC

2250 E. Tropicana, Suite 19-468

Las Vegas, NV 89119

kevin@omegavista.com

(702) 921-8888 office

(702) 921-8816 fax

(702) 400-9986 cell

 

 

Not Listening? WTF?

They are not listening to me...I am shocked!

 

I am thinking of sending a memo to that cranky old guy from CBS online or Time or something like that, who always rights about the auto industry and thinks he has forgotten more than any of us will every know.  That guy will write just about anything...I love that guy....

 

Jaguar should have been sold by now or shut down altogether.  I think it is losing money because it has no core market anymore.  The majority of the luxury or luxury move up market are going with the German stuff or Japanese stuff.  Jaguar has some diehards, but it should either move up and I mean way up to like Ferrari level or move down or kill the brand/company. 

 

BTW, I am liking that Wie girl more and more every time I see her....I love moo-shoo pork...that's spicy....

 

Is Annika a lesbo?  I am not sure and I could probably Google it no problem, but it is not as fun as asking that Kaiser Morning-way guy...

 

Kevin Bushbaker

Omega Vista, LLC

2250 E. Tropicana, Suite 19-468

Las Vegas, NV 89119

kevin@omegavista.com

(702) 921-8888 office

(702) 921-8816 fax

(702) 400-9986 cell

 

 

Gordon's Brief WSOP Tenure

Simply fascinating stuff...a string of very brief podcasts by Phil Gordon on this year's World Series of Poker.  Scroll down to Day 1a and go forward chronologically from there.  It's just great great stuff.  Gordon is first somewhat in awe of the scene, and admittedly nervous the day before he begins play.  Then on his first day, there are four fascinating tidbits - driving to the event, his status at the first and second break, and the end of his tournament. 

 

It has to be excruciating to be a world class pro and run into an army of buffoons in an event like this, and get beaten by luck.  Though I have to say if I were Gordon, I'd have played that set of aces much more aggressively than he did.

Dickens

A dickens of a time, indeed, Rummy.

 

Sure wish I were a politician.  Just by stating something, you can make it so, or deny it ever happened. 

9/11 NORAD Transcripts

Chilling stuff - national defense transcripts of what really happened within our own air defense system on September 11, 2001.  Bureaucracy is a damn crippling thing. 

A-Rod

The idiot Yankee fans are doing this to themselves.  Regardless of the price, which is in many ways a transparent cost to the fanbase that constantly fills up Yankee Stadium, the team has one of the five best players in all of baseball.  And he's having a bit of an off year - still a pretty damn good year, though.  And he keeps getting booed.  And he keeps getting outed in the papers for suntanning in Central Park.  And he keeps speaking up about it all instead of avoiding the media.  And he keeps carrying himself properly instead of acting out in the way that it just must be *so* tempting to do right now. 

 

And the Yankee fans just keep piling on, too blindly stupid and arrogant to realize that they're either going to ruin this guy or get him run out of town, getting the franchise literally pennies on the dollar in return. 

 

Sometimes, having 26 World Championships (tm) and being the most storied franchise in the history of sports (tm) isn't a good thing. 

 

By the way, there's a great line by Lupica in here about what ol' Shrub will be most remembered for. 

This President will be remembered as much for his war against stem-cell research as he is for his war in Iraq.

All-Stars and Home Fields

Here's the problem.  The AL wins the game and people say that they're the dominant league so they should have home field in the World Series, and all is right with the "This One Counts"(tm) format.  But what if Hoffman got the final out and the NL held on?  Then the same people would be crying that the AL is still the better league, and that the same trademarked format was bogus. 

 

It comes down to this.  The sample size is too small.  Home field should be determined on one of two factors before the Midsummer Classic ever gets involved.

1) Best record.  Win the most games, play the most post season games at home.  What's so hard about this?

2) Interleague Play.  Much more significant sample size than just the All-Star game. 

 

 

Only in Soccer

Only in the "world's game" can this petulant, sophomoric little whining bitch be named the player of the tournament.  Way to go, soccer.  Give the "Golden Ball" to someone with no balls. 

Lefty's Mental Meltdown

Nobody gets it.  The golf media doesn't get it.  And Bones doesn't get it either.  There's nothing wrong with Lefty hitting driver on the 72nd hole at Winged Foot - reason being that since there's no OB and no water, he can and should be able to make five from wherever he hit it.  The problem is Lefty's ridiculous play on the second shot.  THAT is the shot that brought 'six' into play.  The driver brought 'five' into play, but that's in play on every single hole of the Open. 

 

Let's not forget that Phil missed two fairways on the back nine with irons.  Let's not forget that it would be 4-wood, 3-iron or something similar just to reach the final green had Phil laid back.  There's no guarantee of par with 4-wood off the tee.  Neither is there with driver.  But you can make bogey pretty easily, if you're Phil, just by getting the ball back into play. 

DLR is at it again

Within this article lies one of the greatest David Lee Roth quotes of all time. 

 

Rocket surgery. 

 

BTW, Dave, I'm through holding my breath for the Van Halen reunion.  You teased us in '96, and we've been getting jerked around since. 

Another Robertson Rant

Hey all you right-wing hyper religious freaks, keep hitching your wagon to this guy, and see which high cliff he leads you off.  At the end of the day, blind allegiance to this guy isn't all that much better or different than blind allegiance to the Taliban or other extremist religious leaders/organizations. 

Bonds = Prick

Read through the entire story.  A military guy catches Bonds 713th jack, and Bonds - more or less - blows him off.  The signature exchange is the most stomach churning part. 

Fool Rips Ford

The Motley Fool absolutely destroys FoMoCo for their myFord publication that went out to some/all Ford vehicle owners.  This is a must read.  While I didn't get this particular copy, I've seen these before.  It's epic. 

 

What's also pretty darn funny and sad is that I still get quarterly flyers in the mail for my 'Suburban Ford Dealers'.  Only these dealers are in Michigan, which I moved away from over three years ago. 

Why Golf is Harder than Baseball

This one is sure to awaken my co-blogger from his springtime slumber. 

 

This came to me today from a former manager - a list of quips about the game of golf:

 

21.  Ken Harrelson:  "In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence.  Nobody cares.   In golf everything has got to be right over second base."

 

And therein lies the reasoning why it is harder to hit a golf ball than a baseball.  Sure it's easier to *make contact* with the golf ball.  It's lying still, and all you have to do is hit it.  But consider that you have a 90 degree window in which you can make successful contact with a baseball.  Consider also that you do not necessarily have to hit the ball straight on its intended path, or hit it all that well.  Baltimore chops, bloops, and even drag bunts can be successful in baseball. 

 

But never has a good golfer drag bunted his way to success.  To successfully hit a golf ball, you have to hit it square, and you have to hit it straight.  And sometimes it is harder to set up over a shot and pull the trigger than it is to instinctively react.  Look at a guy like Rick Barry, who could make jump shots from all over, but struggled endlessly at the foul line. 

 

So I once again restate my case: it is harder to successfully hit a golf ball than it is to successfully hit a baseball. 

 

Hawkins Calls 'Shenanigans' on Daly's Debts

Golf Digest's John Hawkins points out a few inconsistencies in John Daly's story, and leads the reader to the inescapable conclusion that Long John has a strange affliction with the 'whole truth'. 

 

Whether it's $60mil., or $6mil., the fact remains that the 'long-ball rebel' has a problem. When you three-jack in a playoff to lose a WGC event to Tiger, then hop on a plane and sink $1.6mil. into some Vegas slot machines, you've got issues.  Major issues. 

What is Jack without Chloe?

No Top Ten today - just a hypothetical '24' question or two. 

 

What would Jack be without Chloe?  Sure, he could kick some ass, but he'd never know where to go to kick that ass.  And that would be fine if he was just a random ass kicker, but he's not.  He's Jack - a former and perhaps current federal agent, once an industrial worker in extreme southern California.  Without Chloe, Jack would be a bouncer.  All the ass he needed to kick would come right to him. 

 

Now...What is Chloe without Jack?  I say she's nothing more than a say anything, high-tech, taser-using, super-judgmental tech dork.

Morgan/Neyer Doubleheader

There's not many things as ironic as a Joe Morgan ESPN.com chat back-to-back with a Rob Neyer ESPN.com chat.  And the comedy gods have given this gift to us yet again today. 

 

We start off with the closed-minded, small ball, run manufacturing component, and follow it up with the statistical based, reality based insightful (and sarcastic) one.  I hope Rob drinks decaf before reading Morgan's chats. 

 

 

Only Five Hours to Go

First off, Dave Barry has some good nuggets about Jack's motivation.  Bank branch managers are not sufficient reasons to halt removing the President.  His bleeding ex-slampiece is.  Warrants mentioning.

 

1) I'm still reeling from Secy of State Devane doing that throat thing to Jack last week.  NOBODY does that to Jack.

 

2) And that's why, today, Devane is floating in some lake.

 

3) I've driven some roads in California, surely not all of them.  But the ones that I've been on, where there's a precipitous drop off into a lake/ocean/ravine are most definitely bordered by a pretty meaty guardrail.   Yet Devane finds a clear shot into the pond. 

 

4) So Henderson and Audrey are each being taken back to CTU.  Surely nothing can go wrong there. 

 

5) My new most hated character is this second in command guy from DHS.  What a freaking dweeb.  Chloe needs to bitchslap him before the season is over.

 

6) Who the hell are these guys that President Dipshit is answering to?  And I DO mean "answering to".  And why do they all need to wear Bluetooth devices in their ears?

 

7) So Aaron is gone, Mike is on the outside looking in...dammit, I need a good inside guy around my President and I do not have one. 

 

8) Prediction: First Lady Designing Woman is going to get all up in Logan's grill before this is over and bitchslap him.

 

9) Here's the thing, it wasn't even a concern whether or not Jack was going to get on the plane.  Of COURSE he was getting on.  That's the only problem with how awesome Jack is - you *know* it's going to work out for him.

 

10) Speaking of which, hasn't this been a relatively torture and pain-free day for Jack?  Sure, Michelle, Tony, and now Heller have all died, and that sucks, but what has Jack had to deal with today?  Audrey's blood splattering his shoes...Kim's whiny boyfriend...random DHS guy tasering him.  Me thinks the flight next week doesn't bode well for our hero.

 

11) Jack conveniently finds a way from cargo to first class and gets all up in some air marshall's grill.

Tournaments

I've heard just about enough about the Final Four, the MLB and NFL playoffs, Olympic Hockey, the WBC, and most every champion-crowning tournament in pro or college sports not necessarily identifying the best team. 

 

Really?  You mean the best team might not win a single-elimination tournament every time?  They might not win in a best-of-three/five/seven series?  You've got to be kidding me?  Right?

 

Uh, nope.  And there's NOTHING wrong with it either. 

 

Florida (not Duke) wins the NCAA Hoops tourney.  Good for them. 

Japan (not the US) wins the WBC.  Fine.

Pittsburgh, a six-seed, (not the Colts) wins the Super Bowl.  So what.

Someone (not Canada, Russia) won the Olympic Hockey tournament.  Who cares. 

 

Here is an interesting article about crowning the 'best' team vs. crowning a 'champion'.  Well done. 

Detroit Sold For Scrap

Not a terrible idea. Sometimes liquidation is the best option. Besides, who would really miss it?

OK, we can keep a few gems...the area immediately around the Fox. Keep the Joe. Maybe a casino. But just raze the rest of it. Why not?

Womens Hoopster

My son "A" is four years old. Here's our exchange this morning as I was watching SportsCenter, which was (endlessly) recapping the NCAA Div. I Women's Basketball Championship. A Maryland player was on the dais taking questions.

A: Dad, is that a boy or a girl?
D: That's a girl.

A: Dad, is she a hockey player?
D: I can see why you're asking that, but no, she's just a basketball player.

Thank God that ESPN's incessant coverage is over...but I will miss Stacey Dales-Schuman. Good GOOD looking woman.

Sandman

This might be the most ridiculous argument ever. Yankee fans are up in arms that Billy Wagner entered his first game as a Met to 'Enter Sandman' - the same song Mariano Rivera has used for the Yankees since 1997.

Only one problem: Wagner has used the song wherever he has been since 1996.

Chris Russo is up in arms about this. He says (paraphrasing) that you can't use that song in New York. It's Mariano's song. Uh, no, Chris. It's Metallica's song. That's it. You can end the argument there.

But I won't. Is Wagner supposed to defer to Rivera just because they play in the same city? Because the Mets play the Yankees six times this year? That's how often the Mets play the Pirates, Reds, Giants, etc., so should the Mets be on the lookout for any song overlaps there?

This is the Yankees' superiority complex in action, and it's total bullshit.

And David Wright is still God.

My Hotel Rider

With all the uproar over ol' Buckshot Cheney's hotel rider, and the subsequent yawning over Kerry's related doc, I thought it's time I start to pull together my own rider since I've been on the road so much as of late.

1. Remove any and all soft pillows from the room. I need a hard pillow, dammit.
   
2. If you insist on charging me for internet access, at least make it easy to hook up to, and get a wireless signal of sufficient strength that I don't have to turn on the bathroom heat lamp, wrap myself up in the hair dryer cord, and stand on the door stop to get a signal.
   
3. Provide a bottle opener. I don't like using the door thingie.
   
4. It's the 21st century...go beyond the late 80s thrill of having just 15 channels.
   
5. Provide a simple, easy to read, easy to use alarm clock that I can set in 15 seconds tops.
   
6. Do not give me a washcloth. Do not give me a handtowel. Do give me at least two (per person) quality, thick, long, comfortable bath towels.
   
7. Ensure there is sufficient hot water to enable me to take at least a lukewarm shower.
   
8. Provide a shower curtain that isn't trying to cling to me.
   
9. Make sure the toilet can handle a big dump 'cause I gotta get my business done.
   
10. and for the love of God, turn the noise down on the heating/cooling unit.
    

That's it. That's the list. Not too much to ask now, or is it?

Family Guy

Quite possibly the funniest show ever on Television. Here's the quote from Sunday night, when Peter found out that the FCC was censoring television:

"What the hell...they let Sarah Jessica Parker's face on TV and she looks like a foot."

Catching Up

Some stuff that's been going on over the last week or so:

* Somebody stealing your wireless signal. Here's a clue...freaking encrypt it. Nobody steals mine. And it's not hard to do.

* Here's Bushbaker's next fetish. The flying car. Every bit as useful and pointless as the Segway.

* Congratulations, Detroit. You're well on your way to becoming a niche player. That's fine and all that, but this should shatter any and all illusions of being the world's automotive capital.

* Keep up to date with the work done by the great Jack Bauer. Unfortunately, this doesn't include special moments like when he shot Henderson's wife in the thigh.

* Have I ever mentioned that I'm a Paula Creamer fan? Good grief!! Mark my words, with talent like Creamer, Gulbis, Kerr, etc. (and not like Christina Kim), big things are in store for the LPGA.

* Sports Illustrated's Alan Shipnuck gives his first set of golf power rankings for the year. I hope he keeps the format up...this is good stuff.

Gas Prices

Sure, they're higher than we would like them to be. But this is not about that. This is about the hilarious news stories that hit the media each week, telling us what gas prices were the prior week. No shit, Sherlocks...we buy freaking gas each week. We see the trends. One week it's up...the next week it's up. Sometimes it doesn't change. Occasionally it even goes down. But don't come and tell me seven days later what it was...try to work on figuring out what the trends will be.

Keibler Robbed

Stacy Keibler just got eliminated from 'Dancing With The Stars.' The sound you just heard is America turning off their TV sets.

Who would you rather watch dance? Stacy, Jerry freaking Rice, or Nick Lachey's wannabe brother. Apparently Idiot America doesn't want to watch the gorgeous leggy blonde. I'm embarassed for my country.

Short Track

The 5000m relay is on and this is incredible comedy. Five skaters from five teams in the race. They go like a lap or two and one of their constantly circling teammates shoves them along. You skate a couple of laps, join the Rockefeller Center schmaltz in the middle, then jump in again. Most bizarre. Exciting, but so is watching a squirrel try to cross a street, and that's not in the Olympics. At least not until the US becomes a credible medal threat.

This is not sport, this is slightly organized chaos.

Living in Vegas

I must say, I am sooooooooo freaking tired of getting phone calls from anyone and everyone wanting me to place a bet for them on the "lock of the century". ENOUGH ALREADY.......

Get you own bookie to place your bets. I moved to Vegas for work - not to be all my friends' slappie who places bets for them at one of 937498279238802384023840820 locations to bet here in Vegas.

Also, I was always a skeptic about the "you can get anything you want in Vegas" thing. Not anymore. I have seen it, heard about, told where to go, asked if I wanted to go, etc to just about everything you can imagine. Very dangerous place to live if you are married raising kids - we are adopting this year.

This place is great! The weather is to DIE FOR. There is always something going on. The people are as fake and plastic as you would find anywhere (everyone knows someone who can get anything and do anything and they can "hook you up") which is forever entertaining and NEVER, and I mean NEVER, gets old and tired. And I am doing great work.

I will always be a Detroiter though and will long to go home. Not the place, but the people. I love my friends, family and people of that place.

PLAN - make enough money here so I can spend lots of time back home and have two homes that I can commute......that will work.....

Mouse, Bug or Horse - Defined!!!

It is a simple thing...every woman in the world falls into one of these three categories. No bout adout it....

Mouse, bug or horse. For instance, Rebecca Lobo - a horse. I know this is an extreme case, but it helps make the point. Halli Berry...she is definately a mouse. Once again, an easy one, but it proves the point. Calissa Flockhardt (or whatever her name is - Ally McBeal), most certainly a bug.

So, this chick who does this whole curling thing, which BTW I have actually done with a group of friends and it is absolutely AWESOME to play, she is certainly a mouse.

You have met Gail, Detroit Sports Gal (I stole this of course). She is definately a mouse. Your better half, bording on bug, but more of a mouse - kindof a hyrbrid if you will.

24: Season 5: 3PM - 4PM

Finally watched it last night. I'm a fan of the DVR.

1) This season is like terrorist hot potato. First one guy has the canisters and the chips. Then another guy. Then another guy. It's like a big network of terrorists.

2) And every guy in this network is fully stocked. Green screens, headsets, stashed phones inside pay phone booths that pursuing CTU agents can attach, weapons, knives, canisters. They've got it all. They make the 9/11 hijackers look like amateurs.

3) Lynn's sister is the most haggard character I've ever seen. They didn't even have to make her up. Good grief. And they have his key pad. Or some sort of key. Or an ID card. Maybe they'll sell it off to DOD Devane's druggie son just to tie this all into last year.

4) To work at CTU, you either have to be
a) Psycho (Chloe)
b) Related to a Psycho (Lynn, the woman from last year whose daughter went nuts)
c) A Mole (Nina, Chloe's boy toy)
d) A pretend mole (the guy who got gassed in the hotel ventilation last year)
e) Kick ass (Clarence, Tony, Jack)
When you think about it, the most normal people there have been Michelle, Buchanan, and Edgar. Speaks volumes.

5) How about the shooting percentage of the guys in the warehouse going after whats-his-name (the guy who left the earphone for Jack)? That was like in Rambo when ol' Rambo marched against the bad guys ... hundreds of them ... they all missed while Rambo picked 'em off one-by-one.

6) I want to be at a poker table with President Logan.

7) Have to admit, those glasses give Audrey a pretty funky look. That's what this show is missing this year, though...the bonafide hottie. Where's the hottie uber-terrorist again? Did she get killed or locked up? I forget. First Lady Cleavage isn't doing it for me.

8) No, that's not an invite for the return of Kim, although it is inevitable.

9) Where was Edgar? Is 3-4PM his designated lunch hour at the CTU cafeteria, or did he head out to the CTU convenience store?

10) Next week: Lynn goes over the edge, Curtis...fresh off getting put to sleep by Jack...kicks Lynn's ass...and will the President make a decision whether or not to allow Russians to pick off his wife...let's hope he tells the terrorists to eliminate the psycho. It would be the first decision he's ever made.

Mouse, Bug or Horse

Your recent post on women's curling is interesting - but certainly not surprising. I know you and you know me pretty well. I always knew you were a mouse guy. This chick is hot and the only thing better than women's curling is watching the 2004 Women's US Softball team dominate their competition and my late-night "quite time" - the VHS tape is starting to get very blurry on the close-up's of the...um...steller pitching...BTW, I have way too many of these all over my office at work...

I am a mouse guy too, but can be persuaded to the bugs as well - JF would qualify here. My wife is a mouse and my best friend back in D-town is married to a bug - good looking woman for sure, but definately a bug.

Three categories...they all fit into three categories. Like it or not, you are married to one of the three and ALL three are just fine. The horse might be a touch and go on some occasions, but there are many fine women out there that fall into this category - just none that I am personally attracted to....

Women's Curling

There's a reason that US Women's Curling is on ALL the time...and here it is. I'm a fan.

Frozen Peas

I hate peas. They're not that good, are a pain in the ass to eat, and contribute to the worst soup (Split Pea) known to man. And yet, after - uh - elective surgery this past week, here I am with frozen peas being used to manage the swelling. That's all fine when they're frozen and doing their job. But when they thaw and start to *smell* like peas...well it's a different story.

And why not frozen corn? Nobody, and I mean nobody ever suggested frozen corn. Why not? The doctor said 'frozen peas'. Friends who have been down this road have said 'frozen peas.' Peas suck. What's wrong with frozen corn? Ever smell corn? Of course you haven't - it's odorless.

Even the Dunk Contest is Fixed

I watched this...the most NBA I've watched all year. Hats off to Robinson and Iguodala - both were impressive (even though it took Robinson FOURTEEN ATTEMPTS to make his last dunk. But in the end, the judges screwed Iguodala. The legendary Kevin Harlan on play-by-play said he saw a judge change his score on Iguodala's last dunk - but he wouldn't say which judge it was. Even the ANNOUNCERS are in on it!!!

More on VPOTUS Fudd

Suspicious concerns from Begala. Was Cheney bombed? Was he flat out reckless? Did he have no regard for safety of fellow Americans? Or is he just a flat out egotistical shoot first/ask later war monger? I report, you decide.

Hour 8

This is YOUR 2-3PM Season 5 of '24' Recap.

Canisters...canisters...canisters...enough with the damn canisters already.

1) Two subplots. First, fat ol' Lynn makes it back inside from his vacant lot beatdown with nary a scratch. Odd. There must be more to come. And First Lady Juggs coughs up more than the necessary information to her aide. Maybe SHE is the one behind it all and Walt Cummings was HER puppet. Huh? Huhhhh??.

2) Naaahh, forget that.

3) For a bunch of terrorists who were always planning to bring the nerve gas to Russia, they sure had a detailed backup plan. They knew the mall, knew the HVAC location, knew of a nearby completely vacant parking deck where they could get the chip installed...

4) And what happened to the rest of the guys at the bike repair shop who went out to lunch? It's 3PM and NONE of them came back. Unless they got whacked off camera, and they just spared us the graphic violence.

5) It's official. Prez. Logan is completely emasculated. He won't even make the decision to combat the nerve gas guys in the mall. My only question is this: Who has Logan's balls mounted on their wall? Mrs. Logan? The Cummings Family? The great Mike Novic? Or do they all get to share them, like the guys on the Stanley Cup Champions each summer?

6) I love Novic. He's a sneaky little bastard, and when I'm president, I want him on my staff.

7) My wife said that Jack was going to go into the mall, and run into Kim. Now that would've been classic. Even when she believes her father is dead, she still manages to screw things up.

8) Jack, impervious to nerve gas from all his years of heroin abuse, takes off his mask to save the 12 year old girl. Alternatively, shutting down the power to the building's HVAC not only stops the flow of more gas - it sucks back in all the gas so nobody else is effected.

9) I love how the bad guy finds a beat up old Chevy, smashes the window, there's glass all over the drivers seat, and he just hops in and drives. I don't want glass shrapnel anywhere in contact with my body - but especially not near my ass.

10) Jack has ruined it all...he didn't give the terrorists the right code. People were killed. One of the suspects is dead. And the guy who stole the car is ON THE MOVE. Lynn wants Jack fired. I want Lynn to go back to the vacant lot and get the shit beat out of him again.

Sports Credibility Scale

KGB's well-timed rant on the NBA got me fired up to finally polish off my much anticipated, long under development Sports Credibility Scale. In short, this rates many (but not all) major sports on their credibility. It's a blend of the legitimacy of the competition plus a reflection of the sports vs. entertainment tradeoff.

First a disclaimer - the ratings should take nothing away from the talents of the individual competitors. The ratings address the sports in the broadest terms possible.

Let's begin. First, we need to define the bottom.

Zero stars: Professional Wrestling. No further explanation necessary, right kids?

One star: Boxing. This is tougher than you might think. If this sport could be fairly and consistently judged, this would be high up. But the sketchy judging coupled with the heavy gambling influence weigh this down. Ask yourself this question: have there ever been fixed fights? Um hmmmmmm.

Two stars: NBA. I *think* the credibility is here, but the whole Dick Bavetta factor and continual implications of the NBA orchestrating desired outcomes (see KGB's Pistons/Heat rant) quite honestly scare me. And then there's the sports/entertainment factor. The scales tip unfavorably toward entertainment instead of sports. Ever watch a game...the second there's a timeout, cameras are on the floor, in the players' faces, in the freaking huddles for crying out loud. Marketing is geared toward the individuals over the teams ("Kobe and the Lakers take on Shaq and the Heat"). Music plays during the game. I could go on, but let's just say I long for the glory days of Bird and Magic.

Four stars: Major League Baseball. First, notice the size of the gap between the NBA and baseball. This is no accident. Now, the only concerns here are the one-on-one nature of the pitcher-batter matchups, and the sheer length of the season. But it's not "Jeter and the Yankees vs. Manny and the Red Sox"...it's Yanks/Sox. That's the difference. And it's a huge one. One more thing...screw Jeter and Manny. David Wright is God.

College Basketball. Let's face it, there have been point shaving scandals. And I can understand it from this standpoint: these guys generate tons of money for their universities and receive next to nothing (except an education, but that's another rant). And it's much easier to fix a basketball game than a game in...

Four and a half stars: College Football. Same setup as basketball, except there are fewer games (less opportunity), crazier fans (bigger backlash), and it's much MUCH harder to fix football than basketball.

NFL/NHL. Same as above. Both are hard to fix. Both emphasize the team and the game over the individual. Anyone trying to undermine this game from within would get the living shit beat out of him in the lockerroom too. The NFL could have had the coveted five star award, but this past year's playoff officiating debacles are somewhat concerning.

Five stars: Golf. It's individual competition. Every shot has tons of witnesses - look at Michelle Wie's drop last fall. The players call freaking penalties on themselves. And there are no guaranteed contracts. The only payoff is in winning, and you can't do that any way but on your own. Guys sometimes tank tournaments, but that's because they want to get home - not because any kind of fix is in.

Guns Don't Shoot People...

...idiots with guns shoot people.

And, hey, you can get a commemorative souvenir of the occasion.

David Stern is the puppetmaster!!!

David "Don't call me Vince McMahan" Stern was at it again on Sunday. I am once again a victim of the Sunday NBA games. I watched my beloved Pistons lose, about 5 minutes ago, to the Miami Heat. Call me a conspiracy theorist; call me crying over spilt milk - I don't give a crap!

I watched the refs, Stern, and every other person who benefits financially from having a gang of thugs like the Heat do well in the league. I know I am going to be accused of a lot of things with this post, but, once again, I don't care...

Stern, as the puppetmaster, once again did everything in his power to ensure a close game and finally get reputable foe for the Pistons in the East. Before Sunday, there was no one going to challenge the Pistons. The Heat served notice. But also Stern served notice - he is in charge and will do everything in his power to ensure MORE MONEY!!!!! Here is how it went down - I am sure of it:

Stern: I can't believe people are saying the entire Eastern Conference playoffs are joke! There are lots of teams that can challenge the Pistons. The Heat are a great team - I mean, they have the Diesel and we all know what that means.

KGB: Stop it. Did you wake up this morning and smoke your breakfast, AGAIN?

Stern: Now that is just mean. I do not smoke the gangy, you know that.

KGB: Well, that is the only way I can explain it. Other than you are "hoping" for something to happen. I know you are an opptimist, but come on. NFW is anything like that going to happen.

Stern: Yeah, watch this...(fast forward to Sunday's NBA game)

Stern: (whispering) Now listen here refs, we need to see the Pistons lose another game. They have no stars, they are unselfish, they have no felonies, no street cred, nothing. I know they keep making shots, but I am sick of looking like an idiot to those who buy all my jerseys. We need you to make sure we get something done today.

Refs: (whispering) Yeah, but what can we do? They keep making shots and they work harder as a team.

Stern: Step into my office, you're fired! Listen, the game is in Miami and this is easy. Make sure the Diesel does NOT get into foul trouble. I know he pushes whenever he wants. I know that traveling can "sometimes" (cough) be an issue. I don't care. If he gets anymore than, let's say, 4 fouls in this game today - I'll have your ass!

Refs: check

Stern: He also should be allowed to dunk as MUCH as the crowd will cheer this on. Wait a moment, did you see that. (Pushing his way through, forearm, hand-check, shoulder drop, and 4-7 steps later, DUNK! The crowd goes nuts.) You see, this is what I am talking about. This is what sells.

Refs: check

Stern: Dammit! If Chauncy is allowed to shoot just one more open shot and make it, I will be PISSED. We NEED the Heat to win today. Great no-call there. Rasheed will be just fine. Shaq needed to dunk there again - listen to that crowd. Cha-Ching!

Refs: check

KGB: WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

Stern: Enough already with the Pistons. We need what is better for the league and we need to get Shaq/Duncan in final together. The Pistons are boring and don't sell.


I am positive this is how it went down. Stern is McMahen. McMahen is Stern. The NBA marketing machine needs Shaq in the finals. They need to have Kobe jack up 50 shots a night. They need to have felonies. They need street cred in order to continue the bread and butter of the machine. The Pistons are not any of that and it simply does not fit into the model. The Spurs and Pistons can not meet up again - just not good for business...

KGB

The Weather Channel is a Joke

What this channel has resorted to just to try and generate ratings is embarassing. It Could Happen Tomorrow is just such a desperate attempt at fear mongering. Of course a tsunami could hit the coast. Of course a Cat 5 hurricane could hit New York City. Of course a tornado could sweep through downtown Dallas. But what TWC is implicitly doing is telling the average American Idiot that these events are more likely now than they were one, two, twenty, or two thousand years ago. Uhhhhh...no.

They're desperate because more and more local markets and individual viewers now have customized local weather all the time - not just "on the eights". In Albany, all of the major local news channels (that doesn't count you, Fox23) have their own, 24/7 local weather channels. What the hell do I need the clowns in Atlanta for anyway?

How to spot an idiot

Idiots are everywhere. There are more now than ever before. Here's how to identify them. This is the first of an ongoing series.

- Anyone with jeans that are baggy, too long, and with a crotch that hangs down around the knees is an idiot.

- Anyone with a window sticker on the back of their truck where Calvin is peeing on a Ford/Chevy/Dodge logo, or anything else, is an idiot.

- Anyone who drives a low-rider pickup truck is an idiot.

- Anyone with a piercing of anything other than jewelry (i.e. a big hole in your ear) is an idiot.

- Anyone who installs a dual exhaust on their early 90's, ghettoed-up Ford Escort (or similar) is an idiot.